Love As I Know It
by Cythera Rhea
Summary: Lily and James story in a whole new revoluntionzed way. In real life, nothing is for sure, even the fact that Lily and James get together. How could they possibly get together?


Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. I own nothing but the plot

A/N: Every fic I've read about Lily and James is so beautiful and perfect. How could their life not be a fairytale? I'm just trying to write a story that skips as many clichés as possible except of course the fact that they love each other in the end.

**Pre-OoTP**. There is something unreal to me about a guy who has the dignity to suffer millions of rejects b/c he is pining away for one girl, but that's just me.

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Seventh Year: 

**Love As I Know It**

I don't believe in love.

Seventeen years into my life, I have never been kissed. I guess it really is my fault though. I was so desperately looking for that platonic love that I didn't think any of the guys in Hogwarts would be perfect enough.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck

I mean, I always told myself, 'Lily, next year you'll meet that perfect guy and he'll sweep you off your feet.' But seven years later, I'm quite sure he's got run over. Next year will be too late because I need to decide what I want to be, but I'm seventeen. How the hell should I know what I want to do?

Love let me down.

I wish my life could be like one of those muggle movies with the perfect undying loyal friends and the hunky guy who just bumps into me at a coffee shop one day. But in the end of my story, if I do get a guy…that would make my life like one of those fake movies.

So…I guess I never will find true love. It doesn't matter because I could never imagine myself getting along with a guy for more than a couple months. For some reason, I just can't talk to one without arguing.

But I really am kind of hoping that James Potter would be that guy. I should just resign myself to my fate.

It makes me kind of bitter. I'll be one of those old spinsters who sit in rocking chairs all day long knitting. I'm not one of those people who have one passion for life like James Potter who has quidditch. I always watch him at the games with envy. He's so young with so much passion and future that I would never be accepted into his whirlwind life.

I long for my own individuality. I am by no definition gorgeous. I describe my looks as…remarkable. I don't have flawless skin or a perfect curvy body. The one thing I like about my appearance is my hair; it's this strange chestnut auburn color. Well, as they say, beauty is only skin deep. The two things I love about myself are my independence and craziness. Once at midnight, I somehow convinced Samah to steal the Gryffindor quidditch boy's brooms and fly over to America to attend a hockey game. I love hockey. Thinking back, I wonder if the broom I stole was James's…

Most people don't know anything about me.

I'm not really good at anything. My studies are exceptional because I work hard, but I am clearly not the best. Remus and Samah are contending for valedictorian. My only claim to fame besides my hair is being Head Girl. When I got that badge, I actually felt that my story might happen.

Actually, I always had this feeling that I was definitely going to die young…so I guess I won't have to learn how to knit.

So this James Potter issue. I mean come on, when am I going to get over him and just go like another more obtainable guy? I talked to him a couple times in passing this year. Last time was because I was trying to get into the History of Magic classroom…but I think I broke the handle and so there was me being an idiot. I don't think you can Alohamora a broken door. James comes up and laughs at me when I tell him I broke it. Now, if this was a movie he'd magically fix the door and gallantly escort me to my chair while flirting with me. Of course, no such luck, because Elissa comes by with the rest of the class and whatever, the door gets fixed, end moment, and James sits on the opposite side of the room from me.

The only other class I have with him is Ancient Runes. I can never understand any of it. I once sat in a class for a lecture and didn't understand a word of it. I've never done so awful in a class that I wouldn't even have the confidence to talk to James.

Of course we're both head students, but somehow we don't really have to interact much. He does his half and I do mine. It's funny how life conveniently works out like that.

I'm not sure why I like him anyways. Sure, he's attractive in this striking sort of quirky way. You don't even realize how handsome he is until he laughs…which he does quite often…and then you're stuck thinking he's handsome for the rest of your life. It's kind of addictive.

His life seems so perfect. The Marauders are best friends with so much loyalty that I could only dream of. All of them are with me in Ancient Runes, the subject of hell. It's like Murphy's Law, "You can never run out of things that can go wrong."

His best friends are Sirius and Remus. Believe me, I know their problems, but I can't help but think they are so lucky to have each other. Sirius is the ultimate trouble maker and I could just sit and laugh at him during the entire class. He has this innocent quality about him that makes him fun to tease. It gives me slight satisfaction that his Rune's grade is as abysmal as mine. Remus is without a doubt the smartest out of the Marauders with James trailing closely. Even with the sandy blonde hair, he looks kind of dark and wild. It's kind of like he has a secret and he's laughing at the whole world.

But it's what they all say, 'all the good ones are taken.' At least I'm pretty sure they're taken. I am really out of the gossip loop. Sirius and James are always hanging around this girl. Because this isn't a love story the girl isn't a ditsy gorgeous idiot. I think she's a 6th Ravenclaw and though she's not gorgeous, she looks like she has character. That's the highest compliment I can say about any girl's appearance. I have no idea whether she's attached to James or Sirius.

I would leave love in the hands of fate but that hasn't done me any good. I've never had any guy really like me. Except for that guy from Mexico over the summer…and those first years. I like to think that, as a seventh year, I am definitely out of their league.

My life goals are to be happy and amount to something. How awesome would it be to help Dumbledore rip down that bastard Voldemort? Surprisingly, not very many people know about Voldemort. Probably because the ministry refuses to release any press on it. I went to the ministry this summer and I heard them whispering about a certain You-Know-Who, who is stirring around South America. It's obviously going to get out sometime that the world has a psychopath killer on the loose.

I don't want to be rich or famous. All I want is to find someone who will make me so happy that I'll be in love with life. Though, if I happen to rich and famous in the process, I wouldn't mind.

Maybe the plot of this soliloquy is a rip through realism and the fight to make my life a worthy story.

Nah…that's too dramatic.

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Reviews and many suggestions please!

I'm not sure if I should continue, and if I do, where this story is going considering it would be rather hypocritical to have a plot and how Lily and James could possibly get together. Thanks!


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